It started out as a perfectly normal day.
Got up. Shower. Dressed… blah blah blah….
Went on my computer to check me emails and was surfing the web, thought I’d look up America for my round the world trip when I finish school. Found an interesting page on New York and I got sucked through my screen to the exact place I was looking up!
I stood there. Everyone staring at me.
“What? This is as weird for me as it is for you”
“…”
No response.
“Where am I?”
“Why you’re in New York City, miss!” said random stranger no.1, “Greatest city in the world!”
This is gonna be a long day…
“Ok then. Next question: how’d I get here?” I asked.
“How should we know!?” said random stranger no. 2, “You just sorta popped in”
“…Helpful” I remarked.
“Well, the logical way to get here is by plane,” said the American with a very strong accent. I think she was trying to be clever…
“Is your tech so updated that planes just make you pop in from Australia to America instantaneously?” I joked.
The crowd suddenly turned into a mob.
“Oh,” I simply said as I backed away slowly.
“That’s right, American’s can’t make a joke bout themselves. Gotta remember that,” I thought to myself. “This is gonna be a REALLY long day.”
As I walked around trying to work out how in the hell I ended up here, I noticed that hardly anyone was wearing an American flag tie, shirt, or boxers! The stereotypical American that Australians know and tease, did not seem to be in New York City.
“You look lost, little girl” someone said from behind me.
“Look, I may be short, but I’m not ‘little girl’ ” I said as I turned around. “I’m 16 for-”
“Hey that’s an Australian accent!” he said, completely ignoring my attempt to stand up for myself and insult him.
“Thank you…?”
“Are you Australian, little girl?”
“Yes. And I’m 16!” “If your Australian, where’s your cowboy hat? Why are you so pale? You should be tanned!” a whole heap of questions came. Ok, stereotypical American, doesn’t shut up. It was as if he was just waiting for an Australian to come along! But one question stood out amongst the others, “Are all Australian’s short?”
“For Gods-sake you bloody basted!” I said, taking advantage of my Ausie swearwords, “Stop calling me SHORT!!”
Whoops…a little too loud.
That’s when the police came.
“Ok young lady. You’re coming with us.”
“What? No ‘you have the right to remand silent, everything you say will be used against you in the great American court’?” I said putting on my best tough guy impression.
And that’s when they got really angry…
“You’ve done it now shorty!”
“For &%$*’s sake!! STOP CALLING ME SHORT!!”